23 Aug

Andrew was in bed, half asleep, then started shaking as he heard a familiar voice whispering in his ear, “Andrew, Andrew, you are going to be late for school”. When Andrew opened his eyes, he saw his mum. “I didn’t have time to make you a packed lunch, so your dinner money is on the table,” said Zoey, his mum. “Now I will be having a meeting with Rev. Parsnip”.

 Andrew was busy getting his school stuff but he thought he heard something about meeting a parsnip. Deciding not to question his mum about the parsnip, Andrew collected his dinner money and left for school. 

The bus stop was a short walk from Andrew's house. As he passed, he looked into the Post Office window and he saw two pear-shaped people posting a letter. In fact, they were pears with a leaf on both of their stalks. At the bus stop, a carrot walked past Andrew, and when the bus arrived, he saw that the driver was a piece of broccoli. After Andrew used his bus pass and chose a seat at the back of the bus, it stopped again. Andrew looked down the middle of the bus and saw a sausage that looked like it had been on a barbeque, but worst of all, it sat next to him. Andrew hoped this day wouldn't get any weirder.

 When the bus stopped at the school, Andrew hopped off, happy to be away from that sausage. But things only got stranger. 

In his first lesson, his teacher was a banana - yes a banana - wearing glasses. The banana said, “This is our new pupil, Andrew Crumb”. The lesson was a bit boring as it was the history of bananas.  

Andrew was happy to have something to eat when lunchtime came, but the dining hall was completely empty. 

“What is for lunch?” asked Andrew, wondering why it was empty. 

“You are!” said a voice behind him. 

Andrew turned and saw all the other pupils had turned into sausages like that one he saw on the bus. They all rushed at Andrew as he started shaking and heard a familiar voice whispering in his ear, “Andrew, Andrew, you are going to be late for school.”  Andrew opened his eyes and saw his mum. “You have got sausages for your packed lunch today”. 

But Andrew said, “It's okay, Mum, I have gone off sausages!”

This fabulously funny short story was produced by Leon, aged 13 (KS3 English). However, the KS3 'All Psyched Up!' students studied the topic of 'sleep & dreaming' earlier this academic year with a session devoted to dream analysis, and I do wonder what they'd make of Andrew's nightmare! 

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